Starting a new relationship
Apr 1, 2001 12:00 PM, Brad Dick, editor
Have you ever second-guessed yourself about one of those “life decisions”? You'd done all your homework and worked things through carefully only to discover that you'd made a mistake. You find yourself unhappy, unfulfilled, alone, but there's nothing you can do. It hurts doesn't it?
You'd had some good times, sure, but you also found yourself occasionally wondering if you'd made the right choice. Could I have done better? Did I settle because it was time and it was easy to say yes? Would my life have been better if I'd chosen differently? Would I be happier if, only if?
For me that commitment was made several years ago. But, as time passed, the relationship began to sour. Things weren't bad, but they weren't good either. I began yearning for more excitement, variety … well, you get the idea.
Soon I found myself cruising the local establishments. I told myself I wasn't really “looking,” but I was. How can guys not look? You're out shopping, minding your own business, but then, across the showroom floor or on TV, that sexy model. I looked. I'll admit it. I've got eyes like every other red-blooded American guy. But I didn't act on the impulse — remember that commitment thing?
Making a significant life change isn't easy. It took me a long time to get the courage to do it. After all, decisions like these can be expensive. I spent almost a year just talking about what I was going to do. But I didn't do it. Friends even wagered that I wouldn't take the plunge. “Once bitten, twice shy,” right? With one bad experience I wasn't looking to repeat that mistake.
By early fall I decided it was really time to break it off, and I did. So over the last six months I began venturing out more often, looking, but not really looking. It was the right time to make this change in my life. Even so, I was determined to not repeat the mistakes of the past. This time, before I made another commitment, I was convinced that the older-but-wiser approach would serve me well.
I played the field. In case you've been out of action for a while, let me tell you there is more variety out there than you ever thought. Times sure have changed, and anything goes today.
I even read books on this stuff. No quick decisions for me. Hours on the Internet, sometimes lurking in chat rooms hoping to learn from others' mistakes. Slow and easy, step by step.
Finally, after the holiday season, I found myself tiptoeing toward another commitment. It was frightening. Could I do this again? Would it work out or would I find myself back in that old rut — unhappy, but having made a decision and sticking with it? Would I be satisfied? Would the results be what I wanted, what I needed? Would I be happy?
I finally did get the courage to say yes. I'm convinced it was the right thing to do. I know you all wish me the best of luck. And I promise to keep you posted on how things go. The new HDTV set will be delivered next week. I can't wait. Anyone want my old set?
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